SHOULD MEN ALWAYS PAY ON THE DATES?

You probably expect to read a simple "...yes men should pay the bills..." But no. It's not a gender role. Anyone should be ready to pay the bill.



Money issues are the main reason why most relationships fail. You probably imagined that infidelity is the main reason why a relationship would fail. But wrong. It's finances.



And you will meet the main challenge right from the first date. Let's pick a scenario...man asks the lady out. Who should pay the bill? My opinion is the man. My opinion is based on the fact that he asked the lady out. It doesn't make sense to invite someone on a date and expect the "invitee" to pay. And I'd bear the same opinion if the lady asked the man out.


Discussing money issues on the first date is a turn -off. Trying to bring a debate on who should pay for that date is the reason why that would be your first and your last time to be with this particular date.



Expecting your date to even pay for half the bill is silly. Or even a quater. Let's say anything! You invited someone out, organize the date and pay the bill. You could debate on how to pay the bill on later dates but date one is 100% upon the person who initiated it.



You are trying to make an impression. Don't make it awkward. Pick a place you know you can afford. If your date seems like the type that would show up with an entourage make sure you are promised that it would be a one-on-one date unless you don't mind paying for a whole team. Whatever happens, "...the one who pays the bill" debate should not happen on the first date even if you don't intend to meet again.



You shouldn't be angry at your date for not offering to help you pay. In fact if the date offers to chip in you should reject it. But you don't want the bill to always be on you. You do not want to start up something you cannot keep up with. You would like the date to chip in sometimes, right? So say something like, "...let me take care of this now, next time would be your turn, deal?"



That means you already and smoothly put yourself in a position where you pay the bill on alternate dates. So soon you will be going to dates knowing you will not be expected to pay when it's not your turn. Which means you might end up on a date even while penniless, how cool?


And what if your date seems to expect you to pay all the time? Start going out on dates that are easy on your pocket. Be patient. By your 4th date you could start having indoor dates. If not, by then you are getting comfortable with each other you could ask your date to pay or chip in.


However, in all this, you should also consider your date's financial position. Does she/ he seem like she can afford to host you or pay for the date? It doesn't make sense to ask an unemployed person out and start debating on who should pay for the date. Be considerate and sensitive.