THE THINGS WOMEN DO THAT TURN ON MEN

Dressing
Men are turned on by feminity. The curves. It excites their thoughts. Ladies be very careful by how you dress if you do not want the wrong type of attention. You could mislead a man just by how you dress. It might seem to him like an invite. A disciplined man would be careful not to take the wrong invite but it doesn't mean he didn't notice.


He will peep or even ogle at those curves and imagine you sexually. Your dressing alone can mess up a man's mind.


Granted, men get turned on by more than just clothes. But the reality about life is that even before you speak, you have already been judged by your dressing. Your clothes will always precede you. You will be judged by your "cover" and you will be addresed by how you dress. Be sure to send the right message. (But even if you don't still no one has the right to touch you).



Still, any dressing that makes a man imagine a woman's nudity will make a normal man go nuts...literally.



Dancing
My lecturer used to say, " Dancing is just a vertical expression of a horizontal desire". In other words, dancing is sexual. Think about it. The twerking. Lap dancing. Waist movements. Think about the movements we make while dancing. Sexual much, right?


Isn't that why most dancers are famous? Because dancing is an advert in itself. And sex sells.



While everyone else is thinking about how she's such a great dancer some man somewhere is thinking about having her move like that in his bed....



Her Voice
Ever wondered why men are ever eager to exchange numbers? He cannot wait to listen to her voice over the phone. He imagines she will sound like that during sex. Moaning, calling out his name...


Doing things for him
Men are naturally weak towards people who take care of them. That's why some cheat on their women with say, the maid, or the nurse. Or the lady who helps them out with laundry. No, no, there's no excuse for cheating. But having two women who are not related to him biologically, both of whom take care of him, both of whom he's probably attracted to, confuses a typical man. It takes a strong man to focus on the one he should be tapping.



Men are forever reading signals. To them caring could mean you are interested in having sex with them. Probably why it's very difficult for a woman to just stay friends with a man. He agrees to be friendzoned but stays hopeful for as long as a woman shows him some care. And that's how a shoulder to lean on soon becomes a dick to ride on....oooops!



Touching Him
Just touch him. Touch his shoulder. Touch his lap. A feminine touch on that man you want will make his head swirl like you have some spell on him.


Men find it hard to resist a touch. Especially if they like the lady. Even if they like her just a bit. Some just fall for it even if they feel no affection at all towards the woman. No wonder the person he cheated with doesn't make sense. He's someone classy but the women he had an affair with doesn't seem like " his type". Ever heard of "it was just an accident?"




It could have been.



Could be she touched him. Then touched him there and there he tried to say no but his body said yes and the next thing he knew he was thrusting and thrusting and thrusting then suddenly child support...ha!

REASONS WHY SOME OVER 30s ARE STILL SINGLE

Society has been watching you ever since you were in your mid-20s. Just waiting for you to get married. Your siblings and most of your friends are married, engaged or in relationships but you are still single. No one has seen you hanging around a prospective date in ages. And you are probably not even sad about it. Maybe sometimes you feel like you could enjoy some company and attention from a member of the opposite gender but the next day you wake up feeling happy about your singlehood so your yester-desires fade away like that.



Most people living like this fall in the following brackets among many more;





Career and Financial Ambitions that the Person wants to Achieve First

Maybe you imagine dating and even marriage will derail your plans. You have been pursuing your dreams for ages and you still haven't realised that time is moving too. You probably don't even have a goal. Your achievements do not even have a timeline yet you want to settle after you complete everything you intend to do.


Goodluck!




Being Seriously Broke

Romance without money is not about gold-digging it's just the reality. This not only affects men, but women too. You need money to surprise, impress, maintain and sustain but if you are too broke all that would seem like a burden to you.


You probably will try getting into a relationship when your financial situation improves.





Being a Single Parent

Sometimes being a parent could keep you from dating. When the child (ren) are very young you are probably looking for someone to help you co-parent and the people you meet might not be eager to take up such a serious role. Your standards and expectations of a partner are a bit higher than they were when you weren't a parent.


You take relationships casually because you want to put your child(ren) first, you do not want to force someone into your family and that's fine but you might put some people off because they do not feel needed.





Just Coming out of a Long Term Relationship

Some relationships are so solid that when the couple breaks up it feels like a divorce. These are the types of relationships that people just know would definitely end in marriage. You probably even have a child or children together.



Such relationships can keep someone single for a while. Sometimes even a very very long while.You probably like the freedom or you do not want to move on from that person or you are hoping that you will get back together so you leave that vacuum for the ex as you involve yourself in casual relationships.





Most of the Friends and Family Members are Still Single

You might need a special trap to get you out of your singlehood if most of the members in your circle are single. You probably enjoy hanging with them. You know if you get married you will have to cut some ties and maybe you don't want that.


Sometimes if the company you keep is of single persons, even your relationships don't work because they could scheme to have you back. They fear that if you get in a relationship they will miss you!




Unrealistic Standards

Having standards is fine. Everyone has standards. But if you are looking to meet someone who doesn't exist you will definitely stay single. Especially if you are vain. Maybe looking for someone who looks like a certain celebrity...challenge yourself and date that celebrity instead of looking for someone whom you would want to transform into the person you want.



Meet people for whom they are and if you are physically attracted to them, appreciate them as they are then consider a relationship.


*Physical attractiveness is very important especially during sex.





Bad Personality
Maybe you are undateable. Maybe you are short-tempered or mean or grumpy. Maybe you go on a date once and you never hear from that person again because you are just not a good person. You personality rating is at zero.



It's never too late to learn how to relate with people. There's no personality that is deep-rooted unless it's a disorder. Some people were born charming and friendly, some people acquired those personality traits with time. They taught themselves and those quality stuck. The "this is who I am..." statement is just a rude way of making excuses for your bad personality and that's why you are undateable.




Maybe the Person Does Enjoy Being Single
Not everyone enjoys or wants the companionship dynamics of dating and marriages. Human beings are very different. Some people will see mingling and marriages and happily ever-afters as myths they do not intend to be part of.


It's normal to want or not want to be in a companionship. Society has expectations. We are expected to date, get married, have children and when we don't follow the "conventional growth" people start to wonder. It could seem unusual that someone passed on at 90+, childless and having never been in a marriage but it's all really fine. No one has to do what he/she doesn't want to do.

DATING SUCKS FOR WOMEN TOO WHILE THEY ARE BROKE

We've read and heard enough stories and debates about women only wanting to get involved with wealthy men. There are very many women married to broke or even poor men but that according to male mentality still doesn't count.


But would a man deliberately go out on a date with a broke, unemployed woman -and even marry her?


There's a joke that if a man is annoying you, just send him a message asking him to help you out financially and you'll never hear from him again. Men have not been singing about an "independent woman who has her own" to one day settle down with a woman who has nothing.



Most men are turned off by a woman who has financial issues or problems generally. Times are either too hard for them to help out or they are just mean. It's said that no matter how beautiful a woman is, if she has problems most men would not want anything to do with her.



So here you are lady. You were online minding your no business (ooops own business) then a message popped up. You are single so you are excited about receiving a male inbox.


"Hi!"


What do we do first before we respond to a male inbox? You rush to his profile picture and judge from it if he's worth a reply. If you've been an ardent social media user for long you start getting bored responding to every message you receive. And if you are in for a flirt intending to get into a relationship or sadly, an affair, you start filtering the messages. Some base the filter on looks. Some on marital status, ethnicity, nationality or even age.



If you like the profile picture or whatever that is that makes you respond to some strangers' message and not others, you respond with a;


"Hi."


If he doesn't mess up by asking for "that pic" or your phone number immediately, you could be going on a date soon depending on your conversations. A man has to have a very very impressive profile to have a woman's attention even after breaking all the "online conversation rules" and the three most agree on are;


1.Do not ask for "that pic"

2.Do not ask for the phone number immediately


3. Don't start chatting on and on as if you have no life.



Okay guys?



So after days of chatting you might decide to meet-up. Remember you are broke. You are unemployed. You probably have a hustle that only brings coins so little that you have to save a whole month to do your hair.



And you have to look really good on your date. You have to look like your profile pic or your date would think of you as a fraud.


If you have a young child, you will need a baby-sitter for the day.


You must organize you commuting costs.


He'll probably expect you to chip in with the bill


And depending on what you have been chatting about you would probably need some type of birth control (No judging adult choices. Yes, sometimes you could end up having sex on the first date. Let's move on please, shall we?)



But you think deeply about how much the date will cost you. So you cancel it. Or you go on that date and he starts talking about how he'd like to see you again and again and your head is spinning when you think about handling your expenses every date and you just go missing. You'd like to meet him again but it's not worth it. There's no way you'd be saving just for a date ha ha.


Is this how men feel? When he takes an "independent lady" out but she's bad on his wallet!? So he goes quiet on her after that date because inasmuch as he really likes her he just cannot afford that woman. And too sad on this "unindependent date" who expects him to help her out for her to show up. It's not a right. It depends on whether this man values her enough to want to make it possible for her to always show up.


Have you ever received a text from a guy who's been after you about you not responding to his texts. Like;


Him: Hey, you disappeared yesternight on the chats.

You: Yeah, I had run out of data and airtime.



Him: Ok


Ok? Shouldn't he be wanting to chat with you so much that he just sends you airtime or data?


Or maybe he's also broke.



Dating generally really sucks when broke. For women too.

WHEN YOU PARTNER'S FRIENDS AND FAMILY DON'T LIKE YOU

Sometimes you could be in a relationship with someone whose other special people don't like you.Maybe there's something you did that put them off. Maybe they just don't like you for a reason so silly that they are too embarrassed to disclose. Someone could dislike you just because you keep wearing the same coat all the time. Or because you leave lipstick on the cup brim. Or just because...




THE FAMILY

You would like your partner's family and friends to like you. Most people want to bond with the other people who matter to their partner's. You want to feel at home even if your partner is not present in a family and friends gathering.


There's almost nothing you can do to be liked but you could try. You don't want to feel awkward when you are with them.

They might not like you but you must try your best to get on well with them. If you get along nicely, that means you will have fun at the gatherings and they could at least appreciate your presence.



Be Helpful
Try to help out whichever way you can. Financially, emotionally, spiritually. Be helpful. When they are preparing the chairs for a wedding, help out. When you help out you get a chance to give and take instructions. You should also give suggestions. Don't be standing there watching people struggle as if you were an outsider. The best way to fit in is by showing that you belong there too.





Give Compliments
Tell someone she/he looks sharply dressed. Say something nice about the house...about the food. Compliments can cheer a dull soul. Do not be mean with those nice words.



Be Friendly
Even if you are the grumpy type you should loosen up a bit while with your partner's family.You should smile or even laugh with them. Friendly people are liked more.



Give them Presents
Presents make relations warm. Give them presents but do not go out of your way. Keep it within your means. While you want to please you want a habit you can keep up with. Give simple gifts.






Do not show up too often
Familiarity breeds contempt.Showing up all the time is a sure way to win dislike and disrespect. Absence sure makes the heart grow fonder. Let them miss you. And of course do not move in with them.



Treat your Partner Right
If you have been good to their child they will gradually like you too. But if all they hear from their child is about the negative things you keep on doing and saying they will not like you.







FRIENDS
If you found your partner with tight friends and they don't like you that relationship will not last. You would think your partner would choose you over them and some do choose the partners over their friends only to run back to those friends when the relationship doesn't work out.




Do Not Show up at their Meetings

Unless you have been invited.
Yes you are dating one of them but unless they are your friends too let them have their time alone. Just because that person is your partner doesn't mean you force yourself into their social circle too. Have your own life too. If you are an introvert, find something to do as your partner catches up with his/her friends.



Be Comfortable with, and around, them

Dont Gossip about your friend to anyone including your partner

Let them be. Be a yes, no person when your partner is talking about the friends.Gossip is sweet but never ever be drawn into it when it comes to talking about friends or family. They are going to find out about what you said and you have to defend yourself and they might not even listen to your explanations.




Don't Fight them

If you have issues with them let your partner handle them. Trust that your partner will have your back when the friends are coming for you. Getting into quarrels woth your partnet's friends will make you very unpopular.


TREAT 'THEIR PERSON' WELL
Just focus on your partner. Do not be distracted by the friends, treat your partner well. May your relationship inspire the friends.


Accept them

Host them sometimes. Accept that they are your partner's friends and allow them to visit your house.

WHAT TO WEAR ON THAT FIRST DATE LADIES

Deciding on what to wear on other days is never easy for most of us so trying to find something perfect to wear to a date - a first date - is a puzzle in itself. A difficult puzzle. You don't know whether to wear something sexy or something relaxed. You don't know whether to meet up your date in casual wear or if you are meeting-up after work to just show up in your work-clothes.


You want to make an impression on your first date. It may seem like cliché but the first impression really does last long. And the first impression could be the last impression. There's nothing worse than being unsure about your dress code and after the date you part ways and he never calls. You are left wondering if you would have stood a better chance with him if you had put on something more appealing. You could make up for that up by calling him up for another date. Let's just hope he wouldn't have blocked your number by then.


A man would decide if a lady is or his not his type within seconds of meeting up with her. You could wish that people were a bit patient and you wouldn't be judged by the cover but the reality about life is that people do not have time. Give them something that motivates them to know you better. How you present yourself not only to your date, but generally, could be the only thing you need to do to impress people.

So how's the best way to dress up?


Your Hair
Your hair should be the "what-to-wear" determiner. Some hairstyles do not match with some dresses or clothes. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and ensure you do look great. Look at yourself from your date's eyes, do you look good? If you feel great and comfort able then you are good to go.



Shoes
Wear comfortable shoes. Shoes will turn a boring dress into something fabulous. The girl code has been heels. Whichever shoes you decide to put on, just be sure that you are comfortable. Do not embarass yourself wearing shoes you wouldn't be comfortable in. Your date might suggest that you go for a walk. You don't want to end up walking barefoot. If your date is humorous he might not mind. But if he's grumpy your stumbling and falling and walking barefoot could turn him off. If he doesn't call after that date, blame the shoes. Maybe you should carry some spare shoes in your handbag.


Clothes
Are you going to wear a dress?Shorts? Jeans? Dungaree?
Did you ever chat about dressing codes? If he seems like someone who wouldn't be bothered with what you'd wear that's fine but we still want to be on the safe side so would you wear a dress? Skirt maybe? Jeans? A sexy top? Wear something striking. Flaunt your best features a bit.

Where are you going for the date? That would matter too. Are you going to be on a rough terrain? Going for a trek? Going to an expensive restaurant? A casual restaurant?


Still, if you decide to go on the sexy route that's okay. Well you are going on a date with someone whom you would want to find you sexually appealing so sexy is fine. And sexy has no limit...although it shouldn't border on ratchet. Show your feminity without showing too much. Are you wondering what's the difference between sexy and ratchet? Have you ever watched Julia Roberts on Pretty Woman?

It really doesn't matter what you wear, just look feminine. Try your best to impress.


The truth is that some men do not care about all that. He'd probably still like you no matter what you put on. Someone who really wants you wouldn't care what you look on the outside...

No way!


Dress well on the first date. Let your date know you took it seriously. On future dates you will gradually slip back into the clothes you really want to wear to a date but for that first date, make as much effort as you can. If they do not call after that at least you would know they had their reasons but you were your best.

SHOULD MEN ALWAYS PAY ON THE DATES?

You probably expect to read a simple "...yes men should pay the bills..." But no. It's not a gender role. Anyone should be ready to pay the bill.



Money issues are the main reason why most relationships fail. You probably imagined that infidelity is the main reason why a relationship would fail. But wrong. It's finances.



And you will meet the main challenge right from the first date. Let's pick a scenario...man asks the lady out. Who should pay the bill? My opinion is the man. My opinion is based on the fact that he asked the lady out. It doesn't make sense to invite someone on a date and expect the "invitee" to pay. And I'd bear the same opinion if the lady asked the man out.


Discussing money issues on the first date is a turn -off. Trying to bring a debate on who should pay for that date is the reason why that would be your first and your last time to be with this particular date.



Expecting your date to even pay for half the bill is silly. Or even a quater. Let's say anything! You invited someone out, organize the date and pay the bill. You could debate on how to pay the bill on later dates but date one is 100% upon the person who initiated it.



You are trying to make an impression. Don't make it awkward. Pick a place you know you can afford. If your date seems like the type that would show up with an entourage make sure you are promised that it would be a one-on-one date unless you don't mind paying for a whole team. Whatever happens, "...the one who pays the bill" debate should not happen on the first date even if you don't intend to meet again.



You shouldn't be angry at your date for not offering to help you pay. In fact if the date offers to chip in you should reject it. But you don't want the bill to always be on you. You do not want to start up something you cannot keep up with. You would like the date to chip in sometimes, right? So say something like, "...let me take care of this now, next time would be your turn, deal?"



That means you already and smoothly put yourself in a position where you pay the bill on alternate dates. So soon you will be going to dates knowing you will not be expected to pay when it's not your turn. Which means you might end up on a date even while penniless, how cool?


And what if your date seems to expect you to pay all the time? Start going out on dates that are easy on your pocket. Be patient. By your 4th date you could start having indoor dates. If not, by then you are getting comfortable with each other you could ask your date to pay or chip in.


However, in all this, you should also consider your date's financial position. Does she/ he seem like she can afford to host you or pay for the date? It doesn't make sense to ask an unemployed person out and start debating on who should pay for the date. Be considerate and sensitive.

THINGS A PERSON WHO REALLY LOVES YOU WILL NEVER TELL YOU

Everyone's greatest fear is being with someone who doesn't love them. Sometimes the relationship is not working out but the couple is still holding on. Maybe because the love is unrequited and the unloved one has so much hope in the relationship. Maybe they have been together for too long so they don't know how to leave apart from each other. Maybe the relationship is a charade they are keeping up with. Or maybe you just aren't sure if the relationship is good for you or not.

There are standard things that someone who loves you will never tell you.



I'd Love you More if....
So now your partner wants you to change something about you for you to get more love. Someone who promises to love you more only if you do something they want you to do doesn't love you in the first place. There's no more love or less love, there's just love.




I wish you were like...
Your partner should be with you because you are perfect for them just
as you are. There are other people whom your partner and you could have been with. People more attractive, better built, more wealthier, funnier, maybe more educated etc than you are but you chose each other because you are perfect for yourselves just as you are. You should be wanted just as you are. When you are getting compared to someone else your partner is drifting. Not really drifting in focus but rather drifting from the fact that you are the ultimate choice just as you are.



You look ugly in that...
Such destructive words to use on someone you love. No one who loves someone would ever use "ugly" to describe how their partner looks like. Clothes can be ugly. Saying "that suit is really ugly" is the right way to say it. "that's an ugly dress..." But when you say "...YOU look UGLY in...." you are going after the person. When people love you, you will never hear that phrase from them.



I wish your (body part) was larger/smaller
In other words, they wish you could " enhance" it. Enhancing a body part should be something you want to do because you want to not because someone suggested it to you. Sometimes you could be with someone who makes you even more conscious about things that mattered less to you. It could make you feel insecure and less sufficient for your partner. You aren't loved just as you are.



I wouldn't provide financially for an adult...

That's a sad thing to say. It could be a phrase randomly spoken but it could mean that at the point where you would not be able to, say, work, your partner would feel like you are a burden. Life has many twists. Today you could wake up alive and kicking, tomorrow you could wake up incapacitated. Paralysed. If someone feels strongly against helping an able-bodied person out financially chances are they will not be around when you are down. Kindness is something your partner gives and should receive from you gladly. Kindness has no limits when someone loves you.



My money is my money...
Almost as above. No one talks about " my money" in a nice relationship. People in a nice relationship always talk and think in plural..."how much do WE have...?"

Financial issues have been put up as the most common reason why relationships don't work. If you are going to be mean and won't share your money then don't get into a relationship. You will frustrate your partner if you do.

Someone who loves you will never talk about "...my money" with you.




Your sex game is boring...
If sex is boring spice it up or leave. Someone just saying it's boring but not telling you how they want it is bad for you. That phrase could easily turn off all your sexual buttons.

The best thing to do is to gradually suggest new ideas. Don't even talk about it, just do it. Anyone can be sexually good for you when truly in love. And if someone feels it could be better, instead of whinning they should make it better or quit. Chances are you would soon meet someone who feels you are sexually perfect.

YES, A WOMAN COULD DATE AND LOVE A BROKE MAN BUT....

The fact about life is that we need money. So when you get into a relationship it means you are willing to spend your money together.


There's a breed of women who wouldn't mind taking care of all the bills. But most men are turned off by that. Society has put it on men that they should be providers so some do not know how to depend on a woman with whom they are in a relationship with and not feel toyboyish. Most men want to be in charge. To handle bills and be needed. And those are the types that are easiest to get along with. Men who know their role. If a woman gets into a relationship with a man who competes about who should pay these bills and those bills that relationship is headed nowhere.


The men who see women as leeches are the type that most women avoid. It's normal to be broke. But being broke and mean is a whole different deal. Infact if a man is mean he has no business being in a relationship. You are trying to share emotions and love but you are unkind. The woman will leave. And you'll hear him complain that she was a gold-digger.

Women can date broke men. Very many women are married to broke men. But kindness is the glue that keeps them together. Sweet kindness. Oh so she left that other man because he was broke but moved on to be with this man who gives her everything she needs. That's not it. Just because a man is wealthy doesn't guarantee that he will be a great provider. Some men are wealthy but mean. A woman could even leave a wealthy but selfish man and move on to a kind yet broke man.

Granted some women do love some men only because those men have money. But most women love kind men who share what they have. So yes a woman could love and date a broke man but only if he's kind and the "broke stage" should also not be so bad that there's never money to buy food for days. Come on!

WHY DO WOMEN LOVE MEN WHO DRIVE CARS?

Sample this: Man A is inside a car. He has just stepped out and approached a lady - let's call her Anne.He leaves her his number and walks back to his car.



Man B is walking on foot, he approaches Anne and leaves her his phone number.



Big question: Whom will Anne call? Man A or Man B.


Man A obviously.

Why?


The car.


The car is not just meant for convenience. True, a woman would be excited about being taken around in a car and getting dropped off wherever she wishes. But the real reason why women love men who drive cars is that it's a symbol of wealth. And while he might not even be wealthy it's a sign that he will be a great provider which might still not even be the case. But if you want to attract women faster, drive.



There's going to be a debate from some women who "...don't get turned on my such things..." but just drive. You could even hire a car and act like it's yours; just don't get caught. Nothing turns off women as much as a man pretending that a car is his while it's not. She'd choose a "...walking man .." over a fake car-owner anyday.

CAN SINGLE PEOPLE GIVE GOOD MARITAL ADVICE?

Single people are seen as a bad influence to married people. If a married person approaches a single person today the most common advice is " ...leave that marriage."


Single people generally do not expect a marriage full of thorns. Marriage, according to most single people should be all fun and easy. Also, some of your single friends might want to hang out with you like you used to before you were married and so they'd definitely give you advice steered towards that direction.


But other married people could also give you bad advice. Even marriage counsellors can give you bad advice.


The very fact that every marriage is going through it's own challenges means that ANYONE, married or not, can give you good or bad advice.



Eventually, you have to pick the advice that's good for you.

FIXING A RELATIONSHIP AFTER AN AFFAIR

Maybe your partner drifted and had an affair. And you got angry but you forgave that person. And now you have to start fixing the relationship. You must start loving again. But the hardest part is trusting again.

You have two options;

1. Believe that they would not cheat on you again.

2. Decide that you will tolerate the cheating


Believe that they would not cheat on you again.


Once you forgive, you do not want to taunt yourself with negative thoughts of distrust. If you choose to stay, stay and believe that your partner will not cheat again. Replaying it on your mind while still staying is bad for you. Start afresh. Force the trust back in.If you cannot trust again, let it go. No relationship can survive without trust.


2. Decide that you will tolerate the cheating

Some people believe that once you start cheating you cannot stop.Well, that's not true. Cheating is a choice. The same way you choose to start cheating is the very same way you can decide not to cheat again.

But some are serial cheats who will never stop. They probably found someone whom they love or are attracted to more than you and so they chose to play games between the two of you. Or, they really are the type of cheats who enjoy the thrill in having multiple partners. But you still choose to stay. You've decided that cheating is suddenly not a huge dealbreaker to you afterall. Fine. Stay.